So, Captain, Maus, and me went to Wally World on Tuesday.  It was an interesting trip.  You see, Maus wanted a Christmas Tree.  His heart was very set on it.  He says it’s important, it’s the first Christmas Tree we’ve ever bought for both of us.  It’s true, having your own Christmas tree kind of says, this is my house, this is where I live, we are a family.

We were a little concerned about where we going to fit it, seeing as how we only live in a single bedroom apartment.  We’ve kind of got everything covered, there’s a place for our loveseat/couch, our TV and electronics for Maus and for me.  Coffee table, video game consoles behind the couch and on the little table, dinner table, bookcases, bed, Guardians of the Galaxy stand up, dressers… there isn’t a lot of room!

But, we figured it out, we moved the table that was in front of the air conditioner to the left of me.  I like to have a surface I can write on a notebook free form, like with a pen, next to my battle station.  It makes it complete, then I can get ideas out of my head in any form I want.  I might post a picture of what my battle station looks like, although you can kind of see it in the pictures of the Christmas tree that are coming up later.

Wally World is an interesting place.  See, I used to joke seven to eight years ago that I lived there.  The problem was that my roommate Nathan Bruce Messer had me wrapped around his little finger; he was the most manipulative person I knew.  I was kind of a crazy person, and he took advantage of that.  Someday, Nathan’s going to get himself between a rock and a hard place, and he’ll have no way out.

You see, Nathan and I would go to Wally World and buy shit, just anything.  Stuff we never needed, like make-up when we wanted to try out dressing in drag, or a ton of decorations for decorating his bathroom, or surround sound systems for the PS3, unnecessary food, and lots of just little stuff that didn’t mean anything.  He stole from Maus and stole our mutual friends’ possessions.  I was scammed of about $7000.  It’s my own fault, but the cause is Nathan Bruce Messer.

It was really hard letting him go, he was my best friend, but when the time came… the time came.  Imagine having your best friend of two years turn out to be totally faking it the whole time.  I used to try to get my money back from him, but I realized that was impossible (I should’ve sold those promissory notes) and would never happen.  I still know where he is, and I have his personal information, and sometimes I find him.  But in reality, the worst punishment that Nathan can ever have is that he can’t be a normal person.  Nathan Bruce Messer (A.K.A. Ksaru or FoxyBoxers) has to be a neurotic fake manipulative person with anxiety and a possible drug problem.  He can never have real friends, he can never be a real friend, he’s just a vapid sycophant trying to suck the life out of whoever he can trick into caring about him.  He’ll only ever be able to hurt, he’ll only ever be able to be in pain.  His own existence is his own punishment for his behavior.

The last thing he said to me was, “I have a problem.”

I replied, “I know.  But I can’t help you anymore.”

And that was that.

But, I digress.  Whew!  We were talking about happy Christmas stuff right?  Forget about the dark side of Wally World.  So, we go to buy the Christmas tree, and it takes a long time because there are lots to choose from, but it has to be the right size and the right height.  We looked and looked, as the one we thought of getting was sold, although we found it later, but it didn’t have colored lights.

At one point I wasn’t sure what was holding up the deal, but then I learned from Maus that he wanted colored lights.  I said, “You mean, all this time you’ve been looking for colored lights?  That’s what the deal has been?”  And he’s like, “Well, yeah.”

Once I understood the problem, we quickly acquired a pretty nice tree with colored lights.  You know how it goes.  It wasn’t the cheapest tree, but it wasn’t the most expensive tree.  Its branches are a bit weak, and it’s not as bushy, but it works well.  In fact, the money we spent on the tree and ornaments was equal to the amount we’d spend if we got the first tree we wanted.  Funny how that works huh?

So, after we acquired the tree, Captain said we had to get a bluebird of happiness.  I was like, “Huh?”  I guess that’s a thing.  I’m not sure what it means, but it’s a thing somewhere, and that’s all that counts.  So, we found a little bluebird, and it now sits on the top of our tree.  But really, the fun part was finding these:

I’ll post some close-ups, but they’re kind of boring.  You see, we found “drag queen butterflies.”  They were goofy and sparkly, particularly special from the other little butterflies.  I thought, and really wished, we had gotten pictures of them, but I just have these:

They remind me of the little wands I handed out when we were Fursuit caroling five years ago with our other opera friend, the lady with the black hair.  I was in my fursuit playing a really simple tune on my portable keyboard and Maus and the lady with the black hair was singing.

When we were looking at trees Captain said we should get a super tall tree, and then have it be cut off at the ceiling.  To top it off, you have the tree on the next floor be from halfway up to the top.  It’ll go through the floor!  That would be awesome if we had control of the second floor, but it’s awesome just to have a tree run into the ceiling anyway.  Captain and I think alike, sometimes.  I’m not sure if Captain’d find shards of glass in their homemade sauerkraut as awesome as I did.

So we did finally get the tree.  As we were walking out though, Captain pointed out this cosmetics display.  They will pair anything with anything these days.  There’s a Star Wars makeup display.  Maybe it’s because I’m a guy, and not a girl, and don’t really buy makeup… but I think that’s a little odd.  Is this so you can be trendy and look like someone out of Star Wars?  Isn’t that a little Halloween-y?  But of course, look who this is coming from…    yeah

So we get home and decide that we’re going to put up the tree.  This was after a little bit of a fight, unfortunately, about the same old same old.  But, we got over it and put up a tree.  AND… of course, I have pictures of it, quite a few in fact:

There’s some construction and other viewpoint shots.  I put them into a little gallery:

However…  the nightmare continues…

I was in Wally World when I ran into this fabulous lady looking in the Christmas tree section:


Asher Wolfstein

Metaverse Resident

About the Author

A metaverse resident, you can find me on Second Life (kadar.talbot) and other online platforms. I write about my digital life, my musings, and my projects as a programmer, webmaster, artist, and game designer. (exist (be wunk) (use rational imagination) (import artist coder maker furry) (conditional (if (eq you asshole) (me (block you))))

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