About Asher Wolfstein The Extraordinaire
- 1 I Have Always Lived In Between.
- 2 Hello
- 3 Here On The Inside
- 4 On Being Different
Alone and stranded, out of time Are you receiving me alright? Out in the cold Arcturan night ... Well, I'm a million miles away From the whos and whys that used to matter Throw it all away, you could throw it all away If I had just one more day I would speak my mind, "goodbye forever" All I have to say, and I'd mean all that I'd say ... And I'd thank you for today And for all the moments not remembered Wish I could repay, but you're a million miles away ... Stranded ~ Red Vox
I Have Always Lived In Between.
Falling in the cracks of time, stranded in the apocalyptic past but remembering the dazzling future.
Continuously floating in a transmundane inner ether, striving to comprehend outer definitions of smashing concretes.
Flights of impractical absurdity frequently crash against the continuous banality of everything that is.
Artistry and microchips, irrationality and logic, words and numbers; the soul in the machine.
I was once anthropomorphic, but now I have a human body with my physical identity stripped away. I still retain my anachronistic mind, for boon or bane. Am I an anthropomorph pretending to be a homunculus or a deformed man pretending to be a god?
I finally wrested an external existence from being torn between these juxtapositions. Moving my sidereal foot across the trinity’s first threshold, I pulled the rest of my stellular body with me. I finally came upon that which I sought all these decades: myself.
For the first time, I understood my vast potential and couldn’t run from the rage of the ever gentle beast.
Now I persist outside, an angry thrust apart, paradoxically folded over an intuitive acceptance. Outside of time, outside of effect, outside of the burning light, I finally pierced the self-imposed veil.
I’m Asher Wolfstein, a wunk of the male variety. A wunk is a hybrid between a wolf and a skunk: a mephitic father and a canine mother. This is possible because I have traveled back in time: I was born approximately four hundred and fifty years in the future.
When I first arrived in the twentieth century, I realized something terrible. My appearance could cause great personal difficulties to befall me since society was only on the brink of genetic engineering and biomechanical cyborg bodies. Clandestine authorities might wish to kidnap, sequester, and study me… or worse. So I used my last transmogrifier to make myself more presentable; more, human.
I am accidentally in this timeline for a reason unknown to me. I unfortunately no longer possess the resources necessary to return to my home timeline or transform back to my original form.
I realize now that this was a mistake. This world has turned out to be far more than I ever imagined.
Here On The Inside
All the places I've been make it hard to begin To enjoy life again on the inside, but I mean to. Take a walk around the block And be glad that I've got me some time To be in from the outside, And inside with you. I'm sitting on the corner feeling glad. Got no money coming in but I can't be sad. That was the best cup of coffee I ever had. And I won't worry about a thing Because we've got it made, Here on the inside, outside so far away. And we'll laugh and we'll sing get someone to bring Our friends here for tea in the evening Old Jeffrey makes three. Take a walk in the park, does the wind in the dark Sound like music to you? Well I'm thinking it does to me. Can you cook, can you sew? Well, I don't want to know. That is not what you need on the inside, to make the time go. Counting lambs, counting sheep We will fall into sleep And we awake to a new day of living And loving you so. Inside ~ Jethro Tull
I live between the inside and the outside.
There is an individual glory in “never making it where everyone else did” (to quote a poem of mine). I have rejected striving for the conventional accreditations in life, chiefly an education, a house, a career, and a family.
What I Don’t Have
I don’t have an “education” beyond the mandatory public education I received while I lived in the rural rocky mountains with the family I grew up with. I attempted to attend Colorado University, but after six weeks, I was banned from campus. Since then, I have not seriously strived for any formal higher education.
I don’t have a house yet. When I attended CU, I was told by David Loziuk, my brother-in-law’s roommate, that he strove to achieve the “big house with a white picket fence.” I asked him if he planned to sell marijuana (illegal at the time) out of his big picket fence house as he did out of his dorm room. He went on to graduate. I did not.
I don’t have a “career.” Someone once tried to portray my father as having a career. I imagine a career as a field in which you strive to “move up,” become a master, and more influential. My father did not do that. He had essentially the same job for thirty-plus years, treating water for the town. He eschewed career-promoting projects and various other opportunities to keep the cost of water affordable for the town. Pretty good for a man once derided as a “social misfit.” I am not currently traditionally employed.
I don’t have a “family,” at least not in the traditional sense. You’re supposed to meet some girl you think is nice and then bring her home so that everyone can approve of her. Then you throw a big wedding and have a baby. I’m not going to have any children, and no, I don’t just “think that now.” I’m a man with an immigrant (now citizen) husband, someone who didn’t fit in with his entire country. Neither of us is passing the goalposts of traditional life any time soon.
No. I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’m fed up with the “bullshit.” I’m fed up with the bullshit that there is some hierarchy of man governed by a bunch of vague “shoulds” and societal expectations. I do not see the great gene pool and fancy myself the deepest catch, as some of my “peers” have done.
No. I’ve spent years trying to understand this kind of thinking, supposing it’s maybe true and trying to find my place. The truth is, none of it actually exists. Green text 4chan stories are not facades to some deep nihilistic truth of humanity.
No. My last two jobs were wearing a fursuit on a street corner, holding a sign for a dog daycare and grooming salon, and a coffee shop. That’s supposed to be somehow humiliating and degrading, but it was one of my dream jobs. I’m not a loser nor an idiot, in fact, I’d like to think I’m the opposite, but I don’t strive for what others tell me. Ever.
Primacy Only Goes So Far
I live on, to me, the inside, and to you, the outside. I am outside the workplace pressures, outside the petty partisan politics, outside of the desire to save the world because I think I’m smarter than everyone else, outside of passive-aggressiveness masquerading as enlightenment, and don’t strive to get where everyone else is going.
In my travels, I have read at length two philosophies. The second of which by an alleged “personality” named Seth speaking through Jane Roberts. He writes,
You create your own reality.Jane Roberts speaking as Seth in “Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity Of The Soul”
That’s exactly what I do.
On the inside, I live and think by different values and different rules. I live by my own ethics and my own daily life precisely the way I want. What matters here is your virtue and the appreciation of life unadulterated by the prejudices of modern society and its misguided, often vacuous, values. There’s no religion and, at its emotional core, no philosophy, just pure and unique consciousness appreciating the good.
Others’ thoughts and actions have no bearing on me, and their unfounded criticisms and ridicule fall on confidently deaf ears. My lifestyle isn’t dictated by companies, products, consumerism, social pressure or media, labels, stereotypes, nor politics. I rarely read headlines or news articles and never listen to pundits because they are often trivial and don’t matter in the long run.
I live in this impenetrable and ethereal inside, constructed by my disregard for that which doesn’t matter to my life and decisions.
I always have.
On Being Different
Through every psychic dimension of inner space to every individual I’ve met in all my travels in becoming, I realized a paramount virtue.
To fulfill my most extraordinary will, being true to myself is absolutely essential. I must manifest the meaning of what makes up my substance, of who I am, or suffer great regret.
That’s why I endeavor now to become what I once was, and in doing so, also become what I will be.
Wear Your Fake Fur On The Inside
One of my prime goals now is to become what some in this age only dream: an anthropomorphic wunk once again.
Seeing as I do not have the transmogrifying technologies that existed in my time, nor the knowledge to create such devices, I must rely on the increasing gradations of modern science.
The first incarnation is here and now: a “costume” that can be worn to depict the general form to great effect. This is the popular “fursuit” or “mascot costume.” Its variation has grown and diversified greatly since being used in religious ceremonies. It now enjoys appreciation, and some derision, in the pop culture landscape of the twenty-first century.
I have built several fursuits of my own in an effort to transform myself into something resembling a bit more my inner nature. These creations haven’t yet taken the exact form of my anthropomorphic ideal self, but they have been oddly spaced steps in that direction.
Willy the Red Husky
My first suit experimented with stature and size and was titled Willy, the Red Husky. Below is a YouTube playlist (soon to be self-hosted) that documents my travels in that suit:
I built three other suits: Copper the Cop Dog, Larry the Lab Rat, and Isaac Homebrew the Engineer Raccoon. Only Willy’s head (sort of) and Isaac’s suit are still capable of being worn; the others have been decommissioned (Larry the Lab Rat’s moving ears broke).
This is not my first foray into self-expression through my appearance. Since middle school, where I acquired my first fursuit (a full-body anthropomorphic costume), I have constructed and worn several different animal designs.
Like the proverbial statue chiseling himself out of a block of stone, I will reshape myself not into a biological destiny but a simulacrum of my own vision.
A Fursuit For Life
The next step is to build what I call a “fursuit for life.” This is a project that will have many iterations. The first iteration will be much more focused on my vision of my ideal inner self.
What makes this first iteration different from most traditional fursuits will be some of the technology used to create the effect of “embodying” an anthropomorphic character. When a traditional fursuit has the “thousand-yard stare” or remains seemingly emotionless to the environment and people around it, it takes away from the real performative presence of the character. Some characters, by merit of their facial designs, are better at maintaining this presence than others.
In my first Fursuit For Life (FFL) iteration, I hope to break down that barrier by eliminating the “thousand-yard stare” and allowing the facial and head structure to have proper reactions. These reactions will be triggered and ideally mimic the performer inside the suit.
I’m Sorry Dave, I Can’t Let You Do That
I also strive to build an embodied artificial general intelligence (AGI). I know the future of man is with and in the machine. Machines of the future are both mechanical and biological. They are biomechanical. In the future, there are what you’d call androids of varying biological composition.
However, embodied intelligentsia in the future lack certain qualities even then that I hope to foster. Chief among these, in the near future, a style of appearance mimicking my own original form. This is my project, then, the anthrodroid or anthropomorphic robot. It is, of course, anthroid for short. (As well, anthroid is also a much less gender-specific term than android.)
Not only do I wish to achieve full AGI autonomy, who will then act as my companion, but in the process, I hope to be able to construct the first prototypal wunk embodiment. This embodiment will be a true simulacrum of anthropomorphism: an animatronic Ironman-like fursuit. It is a wearable robot, with the only potential difference between it and my anthroid friend is that my intelligence drives it.
Until genetic engineering and gene therapy are built in such a fashion that they can be coupled with a BioCAD, computer-aided biology construction software, this simulacrum is the ticket to the full realization of my dreams, both personal and external.
What Is This Place?
The ability to encode information and connect it through various means has given rise to a new perspective on location. Whether it be the hypertext of the World Wide Web or the chat rooms of Internet Relay Chat, things can happen in places that don’t exist. This is no more evident than the corresponding constructions of Multi-User Dimensions (MU*’s: MUDs, MUCKs, MUSHes, etc.) or Virtual Reality (SecondLife, VRChat, etc.), and on some level social media.
As above, I live between the conspiracy of the real and the aspirations of this digital landscape. My first culmination of such is Hyperborea, a personal chantry realm in the digital web. From Hyperborea, I send out my signal, which ends up here, among many others.
This blog is tuned to my personal signal. Here you will find my public diary: particularly my projects, my prognostications or decidedly resolute pontifications, and other aspects of living life in this dystopia careening towards annihilation.
There are other receptacles for my signal. Unfortunately, at the time of this writing, they are all offline. It is not that they are abandoned, but they are not in forms that can currently be published. I am working on bringing a number of them (back) online, chiefly chraki.dev and howtoprogramanything.com.
Chraki.dev, a.k.a. The Official Chraki Language, is for my (computational) linguistics signal concerning my constructed language (conlang) Chraki (pronounced ch-r-ah-k, tʃɹɔk). This constructed language aims to simultaneously provide a unique, creative, and powerful means of natural expression and logical/computational construction. The site is set up as a community project where feedback and contributions are welcome.
Howtoprogramanything.com, a.k.a. How To Program Anything, is where I explore the world of computer science in an educational format. This is meant to be the kind of resource I wish I had when I was much younger to help me learn my craft. It aims to be both accessibly comprehensive and engaging and focus particularly on subjects that aren’t usually covered (at least at the start).
There are other receivers as well that vary in subject and signal strength. A short list of these for the interested follows.
- noveltyfactor.com – My current company, The Novelty Factor LLC. This organization endeavors to empower creative individuals and their projects with specialized consulting services and technology solutions. Most of my projects are operated (including this site) under this business and financial umbrella.
- pressacept.com – (GitHub Profile) Press Accept Software is where I develop and release my open-source software. Currently, there are three packages that use GDScript and the Godot Scripting Language. More are sure to come.