Well, I haven’t been posting to my blog regularly, but that’s okay. I’ve been busy doing a number of things, including getting ready for the immigration interview for Maus and me. That’s a little intellectually wrenching, but it turns out it went very well.
It’s too early to say whether everything is good or not, so I will refrain from doing so, but the interview itself went very well. It was a bit nerve racking, but we had our lawyer there with us (the best decision we ever made was getting a lawyer for this process), and it all went well.
So, in other news, Roger died. I was getting my coffee as usual from the Starbucks underneath the Northern Hotel when one of the baristas told me it was sad what happened to Roger. She had seen Roger and me talking in Starbucks a number of occasions, and I’ve written about him before. I said, “What happened to Roger?”
She told me that apparently he got pneumonia and went to the hospital about two weeks before she told me. Then he got a urinary tract infection which spread to his blood and killed him. It’s kind of interesting really, Roger would tell me about how he was going to die soon. I’d say, “Nah, you’ll live another twenty years.” I believe he was 86. Well, in the end he was right.
It makes sense that he was right. He probably knew in a way, his intuition telling him when it was going to happen.
I’ve written more about how we can’t really compare ourselves to each other in a totally objective way when it comes to other people’s opinions, this time dealing with intelligence. However, I’m not completely ready to publish that article yet. We’ll see how it goes, I want it to be part of a larger series I’m doing that’ll wrap up with a good bit of manifesto in the end.
In terms of Original Pursuits Society we’ve gained a few members, Captain, Aly, and Maus. Now we have four members. Yay!
The furry URL shortener has come along well. I still need to program the advertising system (I was actually thinking of using Project Wonderful to do the advertising, but I’m not really sure). The only thing besides the advertising system (which I can rig up in my own time, not set deadline) is the graphics for the site. I’m trying to get my friend Roghroo to do the graphics, but he’s very busy. He makes wonderful little 3D models that I just adore.
I’ve been reading a lot, mostly during Maus’ rehearsals for Don Giovanni with the Boulder Opera.
The thing about the reading is… I read this book called You Are A Bad Ass, and it really impacted me. In it one of the things it talks about is ‘energy’. A bit of a faith in an energy in your life that you can focus positive thoughts on and rely on. It seems like, as soon as I started kind of knowing/believing in this energy, things have improved in my life.
I know this sounds totally weird, particularly for an Objectivist, but it’s true. I don’t think that it’s a belief in God, I continue to be an atheist. But, my skepticism has seemed to have grayed out a bit.
It’s not that I necessarily believe in energy, or an undercurrent to all reality in the universe. Okay, maybe I do to a small extent, and I think that in a way I always have. I believe there are other realities, or at least aspects of this reality, that we don’t understand yet, particularly aspects dealing with psychology and consciousness. I think that’s a safe belief and makes sense, we don’t know everything out there, that’s why we make new discoveries.
Since reading You Are A Bad Ass, I’ve realized that my bad-ass self is kind of a new age hippy. It’s interesting. It’s not that I necessarily believe in feng shui, or crystals, or the Seth Material… I know objectively speaking it’s pretty froo-froo and completely refutable. But, in a way, it allows and gives my mind something to focus on. Something to embody a particular thought or feeling in a physical sense, a physical translation of a state of consciousness or emotion.
I’ve started meditating kind of. I’ve come to the realization that it’s possible that my anti-psychotic is keeping me from experiencing some aspects of my psychology, and putting myself into a certain very codified stream of consciousness. Which is a good thing, a very good thing. But it has it’s cons. I find it hard to meditate or let go some and try to clear my mind in such a way that I maintain a heightened awareness. I don’t seem to quite achieve the same results that others seem to be able to access. But, that’s okay, I’m just not sure exactly what I want to do with that information.
But here’s an example of what I mean. I can meditate in silence, and that’s okay. There’s such a thing out there as ‘sound therapy’. The idea is that certain tones and frequencies help your body and mind heal and maintain itself. Particularly the ‘solfeggio’ tones. Some claim it ‘heals your DNA’, well, no I’m not going to really go for that, that’s a little extreme. I know that this may be froo-froo, but it can help my mind focus and put myself into a physical space where I can experience the intensity of that space. So, when I meditate, I can play ‘sound therapy’ to help me. Another example, crystal grids. I’ve had a cursory glance at crystals and their alleged properties, but they look interesting. So, I may meditate on a crystal, or set up a crystal grid around me. Do I think they’re necessarily doing anything? Not really. But that’s not the point. It’s something I can focus my mind on to and think, this is going to help me. And in doing so I can further experience the intensity of the constructed space I’m in, and further help my intellect.
So, I don’t really believe whole-heartedly, or many times even half-heartedly, in new age froo-froo, but honestly, if it can help me maintain a sense of mental and physical, and even ‘spiritual’, health, then why not use it for myself? I don’t have to believe in order to use them as mental tools, and honestly I’d rather have as many mental tools at my disposal than none. Translating coping mechanisms into something physical helps me concretize them, something I’ve always had trouble with.
The last thing I wanted to post was about my learning. I’ve created more artwork, and I’ve shared that artwork on Facebook. I’ve gotten really bad about documenting things in my blog, but I know I can do it and hope to get back up to doing it at least once a day. So, if you want to see my latest artwork you’ll have to look at my Instagram and Facebook accounts.
I’m going to try harder at carrying my 3DS and my actual digital camera (not my phone) around so that I can capture StreetPass friends and things I see. We went to Denver yesterday and the Tattered Cover and BD’s for fun after the interview. I figured we could use a breather. There were so many shots and textures and everything I could’ve taken, but I didn’t have my damn camera. UGH!
However, I built my first circuit today for my electronics class. I’m proud of it, I was able to put it all together and program it from the knowledge I’ve learned in this online class I’m taking. I actually capture it on video:
Pretty nifty if I say so myself!
The other thing is my apparent lack of creativity. I think I’ve boxed and painted myself into a corner here. I was telling Maus on the way to Boulder that I sit down and think, “Okay, I’m going to be creative!” and then nothing comes to me. I go completely blank. I proffered that maybe I shouldn’t think about being creative, just do whatever comes to mind.
So in the meantime I suppose I’ll read and learn as much as I can while I’m in this period. I’ve been working through some books, I finished C#, Tidying: The Japanese Art of Decluttering. I’m working through PHP MVC (which has opened my eyes to some new PHP things I never thought of), Beginner Unity, and Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul.
That’s my journey right now in the physical, intellectual, and spiritual realms. When I’m thinking positively, I want to expand my consciousness, knowledge, and abilities to be as rich as possible. I’ve really tried to start loving myself more, and honestly, it feels much better to just do my own thing than worry about hating myself or doing the right allegedly most efficacious thing.
I need to update the rest of the site, like the sidebars for instance, and get into more of a mode of posting more stuff from my journey and mind. I don’t want to briefly visit my site, and post, “Oh I’m going to do this and this here!” and then not do it, so I’m not going to promise anything in particular.
There was a period of about two weeks where I was really online, the beauty of my life being recorded multiple times a day on various outlets. That was fun! Then, I kind of started being really negative and hating myself, and it all stopped. I realized when I was having fun posting, that, sometimes it doesn’t really matter what you put out there, just that you put it out there, and good things will come to you.
Let good things come to you.
PS. I almost forgot. I want to thank everybody who wished me happy birthday on Monday. It really helped me feel appreciated, loved, and noticed. I know I don’t say happy birthday to too many other people, so I really appreciate it!