Author: kadar


Phabstractic: None Data Type

But what happens when you want to differentiate between false, 0, and null? Or in another context, what if you need a null value that is considered an object by the algorithm or language?


Life In The Amazon

So from now on I’m not a ‘comic book artist’, or a ‘writer’, or a ‘game designer’, or anything. I’m all of those things. That’s me! I am a computer programmer, philosopher, musician, writer, artist, game designer, cook, gamer, and inventor.


Wyoming Super Computer

I wish I could remember more about the computer, such as its statistics. Or even actually where it is, cause I kept no notes and forgot. If somebody knows what this place is or more about the supercomputer (link a link to its site) please comment below!


Hard To Get

I was put on a steroid, Prednisone, and I’m not really sure how that really works out. I was on a steroid earlier when I was having bronchitis issues and it seemed to wreak some havoc with my moods and anxiety. This time wasn’t too different.


This Is A Title

So, that’s life, coffee, drawing, writing, blogging, coughing, video gaming, tv show watching, and borderlining. I’m going to try to do more cooking and fursuiting. Gosh, my life is so hard.


On Being Different

So… To write!  To draw!  To design!

I think.

Who knows.


Feeling Myself

Ah well, so goes on life. Well, that’s about it for now. A lot of stuff going on, and it’s difficult, but manageable, and terribly exciting.

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Here I sit, so cliche, wonderin’ what the hell to do.  Maybe I should go into a bathroom stall and write in loose-leaf notebooks.  I feel like I want to cry, that it would...


Drifting Around

I don’t understand people who wear their mental illness as a badge of some form of weird pride. I mean, I understand feeling different, and being intelligent, and seeing and experiencing things the average person doesn’t necessarily experience. I get very frustrated with my disorder sometimes because I think it gets in my way.


Additional Dialogue Recording

I just don’t generally think of my life or my experiences of it as necessarily that unusual or special, mainly because I don’t have a tendency to necessarily think I’m that special.  It’s not that I don’t value myself, as I’ve been getting much better about that through reading Seth.  It’s just that I don’t really place myself ‘above’ or in a position as ‘different’ than other people in my mind.  I just think we’re all human, and we’re all different.


Beautiful Remastered

I also consider this post a bit of a reboot, to fit in line with the remaster, in that I’m wiping the slate clean with what I haven’t posted.  This means I won’t feel like I have a giant back log of stuff that I have to get to the screen.  What’s ‘lost’ is lost, but I can move forward with more great amazing things!


There Are So Many Things

Beliefs are well and good, and truthfully, everyone should believe good things. There is an objective good and evil, there are objective values, and there are virtuous elements of our lives that deserve reward.


Happy Birthdays!

That’s my journey right now in the physical, intellectual, and spiritual realms. When I’m thinking positively, I want to expand my consciousness, knowledge, and abilities to be as rich as possible. I’ve really tried to start loving myself more, and honestly, it feels much better to just do my own thing than worry about hating myself or doing the right allegedly most efficacious thing.


No Self-Loathing

I’ve applied this to various areas of my life, more successfully at times than others, and it’s really helped me. I’m going to write about more of these aspects, such as intelligence, as I go along, but I thought the cornerstone for me (attractiveness) was a good place to start.


Concrete Goals

I’m trying to really focus on that as my primary goal, but the problem is, there are so many ways that money can come in, particularly if it’s coming in from more than one source.


State of the Fur II

I’m putting myself down, I’m hating myself so severely I cry and try to stab my leg, I’m taking for granted the fact that nothing comes to me without stopping and thinking that it’s maybe because I’m not asking for anything. I’m floating in a void of self-pity, self-hatred, self-loathing, and thinking my life is cursed because of who I am.


What Is Philosophy?

Philosophy was one of those subjects that you learned about on your own, apart from school.  It was a place where I could shoot ideas out into it and see where they go, no textbook, no teacher.  I probably drove my brother crazy with all my, often hare brained, ideas and beliefs.


Ars Habitualia

But I’m thinking, if I can use this as an umbrella, much like I did sometimes when I was running TCO, there can be a definite goal, a definite purpose, a definite end game or plan. Then I’ll know it’ll be okay to plan meals, do laundry, write, focus, play a video game.


Original Pursuits Society

Well, life is still beautiful, you just have to look at it in a certain way. Being able to feel something about it helps too.